In a Boy's Dream
by perfection through silence
Summary: I wish there was a category for weird. That's where this'd belong. Kyle starts having strange dreams. Pretty soon they start to invade his everyday life.. Meanwhile, Cartman becomes a (makes quote signs with fingers) 'goth', and Stan gets into music.
1. Hallucination

OK, OK. I've always hated "put-yourself-in-the-story" fics, but, GASP! Yes... I gave  
myself a role. I'm not taking over the story or anything, I hate that sort of stuff. Oh, I'm  
going to mention some stuff from some of my music. If you've ever heard of AFI (A Fire  
Inside), this will make a bit more sense to you. I'm sorry to do this to you all, but hey-  
nobody's forcing you to read it.  
  
Anyway, that part won't come up until at earliest the next chapter, so relax.  
  
Please be nice, as this is my first ever fanfic. Thanks, love you all. 3  
  
One last thing: I own none of the characters. Okies? Okies.  
**  
Kyle couldn't breathe. He was drowning, drowning in something cold and dark. He  
struggled to reach the surface, but with every movement, he seemed to stick even more.  
This is it, he thought, I'm going to die. He stopped flailing around, and slowly rose to the  
surface. The silvery ooze he'd been trapped in tasted oddly familiar, almost sickly sweet.  
Then everything went black. He tried to open his eyes, but realized they were already  
open. He was somewhere completely different now, somewhere cool and damp. Fuzzy  
looking white figures surrounded him. He struggled to see them, but everything was  
blurry. One of the white creatures drew closer. He felt it place a soft paw, or was it a  
hand?, on his shoulder. Flower petals fell from the sky like rain. He opened his mouth to  
speak, when..  
  
Kyle gasped and sat up. Those dreams again.. they'd been going on for days now. He  
shuddered, wondering what they meant. Shrugging it off, he glanced at the clock. His  
alarm was going to go off in 3 minutes, anyway. He got up and turned it off, sighing.  
Another day at school with teachers that could easily be replaced with trained monkeys,  
surrounded by idiots who had yet to realize their petty lives were useless..  
  
Whoa, he thought. Did I just think that? He felt strange, and different. But in a way, it  
was almost.. interesting.  
  
**  
Later that day..  
  
"Stan, your father and I are taking Shelly to buy some new clothes. We'll be back soon.  
You have the cellphone number."  
  
"Okay, mom."   
  
This was going to suck ass. Home alone, with nothing to do.. Wasn't he kind of young for  
this sort of thing? Oh, well. At least he wouldn't have to listen to Shelly call him a turd  
for a few hours..  
  
He was about to go upstairs to watch TV when he noticed that the radio was still on. As  
he went to switch it off, he heard something wonderful, something new to him..  
  
"I'll lay me down tonight, much further down. Swim in the calm tonight. This art does  
drown.."  
  
Stan stood, transfixed. He listened to every word of that song. There was just something  
about it that made him feel... happy. It filled him with excitement. He'd never really  
listened to much music before; it had always seemed so... foreign to him. "That was a  
little song called 'Girl's Not Grey,' by a band called AFI," the DJ's smooth, deep voice  
announced. "Stick around, cuz we've got more music from the Strokes, Coldplay, and  
Chevelle on the way.."Stan grabbed some snacks and sat down at the table, radio nearby,  
and waited..  
**  
Meanwhile..  
  
Cartman sat down on the couch and grabbed the remote. He was excited. Today was the  
start of the new season of Terrance and Phillip! He flicked on the TV.  
  
"Mooooooom, will you bring me some cheesy poofs? Terrance and Phillip is about to  
start!"  
  
"Sure, honey." Liane filled a gigantic bowl to the brim with the orange colored snacks  
and carried it to Cartman.  
  
Cartman devoured them like crazy, as the Terrance and Phillip theme started to play.   
  
"This is so tits!"  
  
"Don't say tits, Eric."  
  
Cartman grew even more excited, until..  
  
"Oh sweet Jesus.. it's a rerun."  
  
Cartman's eyes grew wide, as he sank to his knees.  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"  
**  
The next day, at lunch..  
  
Cartman carries his lunch tray to the table where Kenny, Kyle, and Stan are already  
sitting. He is dressed entirely in black.  
  
"Hey fatass."  
  
"Shut up, you gayass Jew."  
  
"What's with the clothes?" Stan inquired.  
  
"{He's probably wearing black because he heard somewhere it made you look thin.}"  
Kenny jokes.  
  
The three of them cracked up  
  
"Kenny, you poor-ass piece of crap, shut your fucking face. Didn't you hear? It's a sad  
day for us all.. the new Terrance and Phillip episode didn't air last night!"  
  
Kyle rolled his eyes. "Cry my a fuckin' river, dude. It's not like they cancelled it or  
anything."  
  
"Yeah, they probably just changed the air date. It's the most popular show on TV, there's  
no way it's cancelled," Stan reasoned.  
  
Cartman sighed. "You two just don't get it. This is a serious occasion.. Terrance and  
Phillip are gone, and I am mourning for them."  
  
Stan and Kyle exchanged glances.  
  
"Whatever, dude." Stan declared nonchalantly, as he slipped on a pair of headphones.  
  
"What's with the CD player, Stan? Disney Sing-A-Long?" Cartman inquired.  
  
"Shut up, fatass! I'm trying to listen to my CD here! Can't I enjoy my music in peace?"  
  
"Since when did you start listening to.." Cartman picked up the CD box, "..the Ah-pex  
theory?"  
  
"Cartman, shut your goddamn mo..."  
  
Kyle froze. Something was wrong. His food had turned into the sticky, silvery liquid that  
had been in his dream the other night. A flower petal landed in it. He looked up, startled.  
Everything seemed normal. Stan, Cartman and Kenny stared at him.  
  
"Someone call the loony bin! Kyle's flipped," Cartman declared.  
  
"Shut up, Cartman! I just..." He froze again. One of the white creatures was hovering  
directly above Cartman's head.  
  
"Oh my God! Look!" But as soon as he pointed, it dissappeared in a poof of smoke.  
  
Everyone just stared at Kyle.  
  
"Uh.. I think you need to lie down, or something. Come on dude, I'm bringing you to the  
nurse's."  
  
Kyle's eyes widened. "No! No, I'm- I'm fine!" The nurse scared the shit out of him.  
  
"Well, you can't hang around at school. If, uh.. whatever that was happens to you again,  
you probably don't want to be here."  
  
Kyle looked at Stan, surprised.  
  
"Are you suggesting I skip school?"  
  
"Well, it's either that, or go to the freaky nurse's office."  
  
He thought for a second. "Thanks, dude. I'll see you later."  
**  
Kyle hid behind piles of snow as he hurried home. Things were getting pretty weird..  
Pausing again, he felt himself slipping back into that strange dream world. But this time,  
instead of seeing the white figures, or flower petals, or the silver substance, he saw Stan.  
Well, it looked like Stan, but older, maybe around 17. He had huge, shining eyes, like one  
of those Japanime kids. He was wearing Oriental-looking clothes, and holding a katana*.  
He was sitting atop a brick wall, looking relaxed. The moon shone bright in a cloudless,  
starry midnight sky. In the background, several other people dressed in flowing robes  
with similar eyes and katanas fought. Kyle noticed then that the boy had a deep gash in  
his right arm. Blood seeped through the fabric of his clothes. But instead of scarlet, the  
blood was black..  
  
Kyle sat up. He was soaking wet and shivering. He looked around. He must have passed  
out, or something. He pulled himself out of the pile of snow and trudged towards his  
home, contemplating.  
  
What did all this mean? The dreams, the hallucinations at school, the vision of the boy..  
God, he thought. I'm really fucked up..  
**  
  
What's with Stan and his newfound love of every sort of music the author likes? (hee,  
hee) Why is Cartman dressing in all black? How come Kenny never talks? (Because, I  
can't think of anything interesting to make him say.)What's wrong with Kyle? Find out,  
in the next chapter.. maybe. 


	2. I are gawthik

Cartman rummaged through his mom's makeup kit. Eyeliner. The guy working at Hot  
Topic wore eyeliner.   
  
"Meow," Kitty mewled.  
  
"Aaaaah!! I was, just, I uh.. oh, it's just you, kitty." Cartman continued to rummage  
through the bag of makeup.  
  
"Aha! Eyeliner!" He snatched up the tiny black pencil and snuck out of the room. He  
tiptoed back down to his room, where he emptied the contents of the Hot Topic bag onto  
the floor...  
**  
  
Stan smiled as he entered the store. All this music, he thought to himself. He glanced  
around the room, looking for something new, something exciting. He made his way  
towards the checkout desk, where a short, curly haired brunette sat, reading some anime  
magazine. She looked up from it and smiled. "Welcome to Sam Goody. How may I help  
you?"  
  
"Um, yeah. I'm looking for suggestions. You know. For new music."  
  
She laughed. "Well, I don't even know who you are. How am I supposed to know what  
you like?"  
  
"Well, uh.." he did feel kind of stupid.  
  
"Just tell me a few of your favorite bands, and I'll see if I can help."  
  
"Well, uh, I like stuff like AFI, Finch, some Dashboard Confessional, Green Day, uh.."  
  
"Hmmm. My kinda kid. How old are you, anyway?"  
  
"I'm nine."  
  
"What's your name?"  
  
"Stan Marsh."  
  
"Well hey there, Stan, my name's Celeste. Come with me, I'll see if I can help you out.  
TOM!"  
  
A blonde boy who looked around 15 sauntered over to the counter.  
  
"Take over for me for a sec. I'm gonna help this kid find something to listen to." She  
popped a piece of spearmint gum into her mouth and motioned for Stan to follow her...  
  
**  
The next day at the bus stop..  
  
"Greetings, mortals," Cartman said.  
  
The three boys just stood, and stared.  
  
"Oh, that's right. You have yet to witness me in my true form."  
  
Cartman was wearing a black short-sleeved t-shirt that read "Life Sucks" over a  
long-sleeved black netting shirt. He was wearing several studded leather bracelets and a  
dog collar. His hat was gone; his hair was now black with red highlights. His pants were  
huge and black, with red trim on the pockets. They were torn at the bottom, and when he  
stood with his legs together it looked almost like he was Morticia Addams. But the  
funniest part of his new ensemble was the makeup. Eyeliner was everywhere. He wore  
black lipstick, which had somehow gotten all over his forehead.  
  
Stan, Kyle, and Kenny laughed. And laughed. And laughed. And laughed..  
  
Cartman was furious.  
  
"Silence, fools! You laugh because I'm different, but inside, I laugh, because you're all  
the same!"  
  
"{No, we laugh because you're a goddamned dumb fatass!}"  
  
The three boys laughed even harder, laughing and laughing, until Kenny started to choke.  
A few seconds later, he fell over, dead.  
  
"Oh my God, Cartman killed Kenny!"  
  
"You bastard!"  
  
Stan and Kyle began to laugh again. Cartman just folded his fat arms and scowled.  
  
"You're just too immature to understand. It figures."  
  
"Cartman, you are such a fucking dumbass."  
  
**  
  
Kyle was over at Stan's, where he was introducing him to some of his new music.  
  
"Dude. What's this? It's..weird."  
  
"It's AFI. Celeste said it was like listening to a dream."  
  
"Really.. hey Stan, can I borrow this?.. For, you know.. listening to."  
  
Stan was confused. Kyle was really acting weird lately.  
  
"Uh.. sure, I guess,"  
  
"Thanks, Stan!" He hugged him, grabbed the CD, and took off.  
  
"Dude, that was pretty fucked up right there," he muttered to nobody in particular.  
**  
  
That night, Kyle listened to it over and over again. He knew the answer would come to  
him if he had inspiration.   
  
Sure enough, that night he had vivid dreams again.  
  
A phoenix landed on his windowsill and called to him. Kyle grabbed its tail, as it lead  
him off into the night sky. Everything was frozen under a thick sheet of ice, but Kyle  
didn't feel cold at all. He felt safe, even though he knew he could slip at any moment and  
plunge to an icy doom. The phoenix placed him gently down in a blooming cherry tree.  
He watched the buds blossom before his eyes, like one of those slow-motion nature films.  
He sighed contentedly, never wanting to leave. He looked up at the crescent moon and  
smiled. He closed his eyes and felt a comfortable breeze against his face. But something  
was wrong.. the wind got faster and faster. He opened his eyes and looked up, just in time  
to see the moon come crashing down upon him..  
**  
  
"...and in the darkness I wait for death, doom, gloom, sadness! Mope! Mope! Mope! I am  
so unhappy! My life is worthless! I hate everything! I am Eric Theodore Cartman, I am  
immortal!" he penned his final verse. Cartman was pretty good at that gothic poetry stuff,  
all you had to do was write down synonyms for sad and make it look pretty.  
  
He couldn't believe it had come to this..   
  
Eric sighed. It had been three long days since he was promised new Terrance and Phillip.  
He lifted the gun to his temple, hands shaking, palms sweaty. He was about to pull the  
trigger when-  
  
"Honey, I've made powdered donut pancake surprise!"  
  
Cartman's expression immediately changed. His stomach rumbled.  
  
"Oh boy! Powdered donut pancake surprise! Screw this gloomy shit, I'm hungry!" He  
dropped the gun and hurried to the kitchen.  
  
Crisis averted!  
**  
  
Alright, I know I kinda ripped off Jhonen Vasquez in that last bit. I'm sorry John-in.  
*grin* Anyway, if you don't get it, read Johnny the Homicidal Maniac. Lovely comic,  
gory, but genius. Ah, so the next chapter will be the last. Read it. Or die!  
  
PS it has a funny ending. I suck at serious shit. 


	3. What a cliche!

Yay!! People don't hate me!! Happy day!!  
  
..Er, sorry. I have.. some.. uh, issues.  
  
Anyway, this is the last chapter. I don't know how to finish the dream bit, so it's really  
going to suck, ok? And I'm sorry for the lack of Kenny in this story, I just don't know  
what to do with him. If you want to read a good fic with lots of Kenny in it, I suggest  
mesfab's ID. It makes you feel happy inside. At least until the sad parts. (It is tradgedy  
after all.)  
  
Bus stop.  
  
"Hey, Gothboy, what happened? Lose your eyeliner?"  
  
"Shut up Kyle, you goddamned Jew."  
  
"Yeah, Kyle, it's wrong to label people," Stan scolded. "Labels hurt. At least that's what  
Celeste says. She says people always call her a goth, and it makes her mad."  
  
Kyle rolled his eyes. Celeste was all he ever talked about anymore. That, and his stupid  
music.  
  
The bus pulled up, and the boys got on.  
  
"SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP!" Mrs. Crabtree bellowed.  
  
"Well, she's bitchy. Must be that time of month," Stan muttered to Kyle.  
  
"WHAT DID YOU SAY?!"  
  
"I said, my favorite Simpsons character is Nelson Muntz."  
  
"Oh. Well. I happen to like Otto. Now SIT DOWN! WE'RE RUNNING LATE!"  
**  
  
"..And that's why Chris Carrabba is a whiny bitch, and the spawn of Satan."  
  
Stan scowled. Kyle raised his hand.  
  
"Uhhhn, Mr. Garrison, I feel like I'm gonna puke.. can I go to the bathroom?"  
  
"Ask Mr. Hat, Kyle."  
  
Angrily, Kyle asked, "Mr. Hat, can I go to the bathroom?"  
  
"No, Kyle! You go to hell! You go to hell and you die!"  
  
He shrugged. "All right, but you'll regret it."  
  
Not three minutes later, Kyle started to turn green. Feeling nauseated, he hurried to the  
trash can and puked everywhere. Everything was spinning in circles. He hit the ground  
with a loud thump!, unconscious.  
  
(You guessed it!...)  
  
Kyle opened his eyes. He was sitting atop a high hill, looking out over a city. The moon  
shone bright through the wispy clouds. A cool breeze made him feel relaxed and peaceful.  
He lay down in the grass. The trees bent in the wind, and it seemed almost as if they were  
beckoning him. Then a familiar voice called his name. He sat up abruptly, realizing that  
he was still in Mr. Garrison's room. The voice was Stan's.  
  
"You alright, dude?"  
  
"..Yeah, I'm fine. That was one hell of a dream, though."  
  
"..Dream?"  
  
"Yeah, I'll tell you about it at lunch."  
**  
"..And then I heard a voice calling me, and it was you, and then I woke up."  
  
Stan looked at him weird. "Well, how do you know this isn't one big dream?"  
  
Kyle looked perplexed. "What the hell are you talking about?"  
  
"Well, if it was reality, could I do this?" Stan picked up Cartman's spoon and bent it  
without touching it.  
  
"Ay, buttfucker! That was mah pudding spoon!"  
  
"Simple, dude. It's like on the Matrix. 'There is no spoon.'"  
  
Stan looked at Kyle out of the corner of his eye. "Or is there?"  
  
With that, Stan grabbed the spoon and rammed it straight through Kyle's heart.  
  
He woke up, screaming and sweating.  
**  
  
"Dude! I had the most fucked up dream!" Kyle said to Stan. "We were in this horrible  
fanfic, and I was hallucinating and having weird nightmares, and Cartman was a goth,  
and you were all in love with this Celeste girl, and then you killed me with Cartman's  
pudding spoon! And the worst part was, it had this horrible ending! The author made it all  
one big dream-in-a-dream, and-"  
  
"Kyle! Kyle, calm down! Deep breaths! I have to tell you something."  
  
"What?"  
  
"...That wasn't a dream."  
  
...  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"  
**  
  
The (Horrible) End  
  
Please don't flame me. I'm going to work on my other story now. Okies? Okies. Byebye. 


End file.
